January 2012
165 posts
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Earth Went Around the Sun Again
And every body is celebrating at a different time because somebody established time zones and every body’s clock is off.
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December 2011
183 posts
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“You know, if I were the the father of a vampire family I would hate it when the...”
– My Dad
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“Yeah, I was walking in the kitchen with my candy cane and it broke. I fell and I...”
– My Dad
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Mom: Where did your dad go?
Me: To get the car keys.
Mom: Damn him.
Me: Well, unless you want to Flintstone it...
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I told my dad I hate when people asked if my bird cage necklace opens. He found something to put in it because he thought it opened and did not want to ask.
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I just watched Metropolis with my family. The movie was a well done. The experience was like sitting through Honors English. My brain cells committed suicide.
Dad: Explain how this is the first movie ever made, in 1926, a science fiction set in 2026.
Drinking Family Member: They did not have airplanes back then.
Drinking Family Member #2: I do not like this movie. I do not understand.
Family...
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Last night, I dreamt that a whole bunch of cats had been residing in the upstairs apartment and Fluffy came back to me. Grammy let me keep them all.
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I have watched more romantic comedies this week than I ever have before.
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Itchy
I am so itchy. I am scratching and scratching and thinking of being younger when I was scratching and scratching. My arms feel raw. I am starting to bleed.
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I always think of things that I wish to tell somebody who finds me fascinating enough to listen, and then instruct myself to remember whatever it is, to do so. I always forget, of course. But I hope that if I find somebody to listen to it all, they will stay long enough for me to remember all that I have forgotten.
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I just typed “dtf” and my cellular device auto corrected it to “std.”
Another Reason Why I Do Not Watch Television
My family is watching some television show where “doctors” are talking about random acronyms that they just decided kids text eachother. Sorry, but I am almost positive that nobody says “nifc” “naked in front of camera” or “hswm” “have sex with me.”